


we'll be lucky if we see the sun (so smile)

by ProjectMiddleGrounder



Series: maybe we can last (maybe we can make it) [1]
Category: DCU (Comics), Shazam! | Captain Marvel (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Friendship, Growing Up, How Do I Tag, Multi, My first fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, billy being a pure bean, billy deserves more love, jl and yj are little cunts in this but they get better, making a family, other relationships to be added as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-11-18 21:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18126527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProjectMiddleGrounder/pseuds/ProjectMiddleGrounder
Summary: Billy Batson never had a true family but maybe he can make his own





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These is the first fic ever so i'm excited and also hella nervous  
> I feel in love with Billy Batson in the Young Justice cartoon and from their claimed him as my own  
> After finding out about a certain storyline, i wanted to give my twist on it  
> Quickly, i wanna thank Widdlewed, Aldebran, Kathendale, and the rest of my discord for their support and help with this  
> Now lets get on with the angst

Not once has Billy felt as alone as he feels today.

His parents death, he hates to admit it, but he barely remembers it. He barely remembers them. Just flashes of smiles and a familiar warmth that fills him at their memory, but nothing concrete. Erbenzer kicking Billy out had been his one time he’s ever felt so alone and small. When he became Shazam though, he wouldn’t feel alone, or so he thought, so his corrupt uncle was left in his past memories only to be dug up when everything got to him. Billy living in an abandoned apartment building has him feeling lonely at times but never to this hollowing extent. Not to the extent of everything feeling numb and too much at the same time. Never to the point where he felt himself cracking.

So no, Billy has never felt as alone as today.

Getting to his apartment had been a blur. One second he was looking into the cold stare of his once idol, his heart sinking as he searched for any hesitation but found none, and then he was staring up to his ceiling on his old and dirty mattress. His cheeks are cold and wet but he doesn’t remember crying.

He’s numb. He can’t feel his arms, his legs. He doesn’t even know if his heart is beating. Billy’s heart just felt it had been ripped apart already so maybe that’s why. He’s alone and conscious now and that’s when the thoughts and emotions pour into him. Shame is what comes first, all consuming and heart wrenching. He should have done more, have said more. Just anything more. Voice hissed ‘If you had just done something, you wouldn’t be reduced to this’ and Billy agrees completely. Shame coils hot in his stomach and a lump forms in his throat but he can’t push it down. He can’t do anything, can he?

Anger comes next. It's sudden and burning, he’s numb limbs surging with rage and his once still heart beats rapidly against his chest. Not e has he felt as angered as this moment. He wants to scream at the injustice, how this isn’t fair, that’s he’s done so much good and has given so much of his heart and soul to them, for them. For once he once to be selfish, for once he doesn’t want to be overlooked or berated or dismissed. 

For once, Billy wants to feel wanted.

And just like a flame in the wind, his anger dies. Thoughts once again unramped in his head, words and phrases, memories and emotions bounce in his head, not focusing on one topic alone which makes his head spin. He feels light headed and he desperately wants to sleep this off as if it’s a bad dream. Billy shudders as the next emotion creeps upon him, draping over him too tight and warm.

He feels dirty.

He feels like it’s wrong to place some of the blame on Courtney. It wasn’t really her fault, he reasons, it’s on him too. He lead her on. He hid the truth about himself and it caused this whole situation. But then her touches, the feeling of her hands moving light as feathers up and down his chest makes his heart beat faster. The warmth of her breath against his ear, her thoughts and desires murmured between the two of them leaves his stomach churn and bile rise in his throat. Her hands change to multiple that touch and rub all over his body and it feels oh so wrong. He wants it to stop, he pleads, please make it stop.

He doesn’t want this.

‘I dream of you sometimes’

‘You really are muscular, aren’t you?’

‘You’re so strong Captain!’

‘Do you think of me too?’

‘Bet you please all the lady’s, hmm?’

‘What a waste, can’t even suck cock right’

‘You like that?’

‘Ya like it rough baby?’

‘Good little boy’

‘Just like that’

‘So good for me’

Billy jumps and books it to the bathroom that is connected to his small room. He’s vomiting stomach acid at this point with so little food in his stomach. It burns his throat and his mouth by the time he’s stopped and the taste is so putrid he wants to vomit again but manages to stop himself. 

He brings a shaking hand to flush the toilet and lets his burning forehead rest against cooled toilet bowl. He’s thankful he was able to find a place like this with running water, even if it was always cold. After he takes some time to compose himself, he brushes the disgusting taste of stomach acid and goes back to his bed. Billy tries to get some sleep but again his thoughts won’t let him rest.

A painful ache itches at his heart and a familiar drop in his stomach indicates why he’s feeling. He’s sad. He doesn’t try to stop the sob that rises in his throat nor does he try to stop the next one or the one after that. He’s body is wracked with sobs in just a few seconds, his chest convulsing painfully as tears stain his cheeks and his clothes. 

Billy cries for two parents he doesn’t remember. He cries for his innocence back. He cries because he doesn’t want to be ignored.

He cries because he's a kid and by God is he scared.

He eventually fall asleep feeling hollow and hopes that the universe will at least leave him a dreamless night

 

Billy addresses who Captain Marvel is to him in the morning.

The air bites at his cheeks when he walks into the city. He lets his feet carry him, not caring where.

Billy doesn’t want to say that Captain Marvel had been ruined for him by the Justice League and the Team. But they demeaned his own personal image, what he viewed Captain Marvel as and what he represented. The fact that he let their views of him; him being childish, not taking things serious, being considered too optimistic, left a dent in how he perceived the image of Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel, him, Billy, will always be a hero, with or without the Justice League. The thought of being kicked from the Justice League makes his heart twitch.

They are his family or were anyway, even if they never considered anything than ‘the guy who puts the word Boy Scout to shame and can’t act serious to save a life’. To him, they were his world, one of the only good things he had left to cling on to. The fact in the matter comes in, however, that they don’t trust him like he did them. He put so much of his faith and trust in them and only got hurt in the end when they barely gave him theirs. Batman is known for his paranoia, he always double checks, always knows the facts and doesn’t go in without a plan. Superman is the be-all symbol, everything everyone should strive to achieve. Diana is the embodiment of self love, acceptance, strength and courage. But in the end, they never gave him all they promised. 

Billy’s stomach rumbles in protest. He hasn’t eaten in two days, he hadn’t been able to stomach anything at all. But he’s stomach is practically begging for food. He makes his way down to Q’s Cafe, one of the few spots he knows where he won’t be outed to CPS. The owner, Q Thompson, was a man is is early thirties and one of the kindest men he knows. Billy didn’t know much of the man’s past, but he knew that it began tragedy Q was the first to show him kindest when Ebenezer kicked him out. Though a man of kindness and compassion, he was not to be toiled with. Billy had been present several times when Q was forced to kick some unruly customers from his establishment. His appearance alone, 6’2 in height, 225 pounds of muscle, and a well groomed beard, is enough to potray a terrifying image of a rather kind man.

A smell of bacon, pancakes, and coffee welcomed him to the cafe. The bell rung as he closed the door and Q looked over from his conversation with another customer. His face light up, smile clear behind his beard, and Billy smiled back. The man walked towards him and knelt down to meet his eyes, though his figure still towered over him. 

“Hey kiddo,” He said “How you holding up?”

Billy shrugged and gave his best attempt at a reassuring smile. “The best I can I guess.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Q brought a hand up and shook it roughly on his head, messing his already messy hair further.

Billy laughed and pushed the log of an arm away, heart and spirit lighter then its been all week.

He goes to sit in the corner booth all the way in the back. While he waits for Q to bring him is usually, buttermilk pancakes with scrambled eggs and hashbrowns, he lets his mind wonder. The calmness of the cafe has left him more relax then he’s been at least in the last month. Justice League missions, monitoring the team, and patrolling Fawcett City left him little time to visit Q. He didn’t know how much he missed the usually quiet cafe till now. He promises himself that he’ll make more of an effort to visit Q, which now will be remarkably easier now that he was fired from the Justice League.

That made Billy pause. What will happen with the Justice League? Would they make a statement? They have a reputation to uphold so they’ll keep it on the down low but they’re heroes. They would never shut up about this, even if it wasn’t true. Billy could only guess what the others thought about him now. Barry would be furious of course, but the thought of him being so close to his nephews and their friends might entail him being at the end of a furage of fists. Hal would be just as mad and he wouldn’t doubt that he’ll try to hunt Captain Marvel down. Arthur would be pissed that his protege, someone he no doubts looks to as a son, being so close to him with the accusations. Billy was surprised that Clark or Diana decked him in the face that day and drag him to one of the cells on the watchtower. He suspected that it was Bruce who stopped them. Always the detective, he probably wanted to gather evidence first before going forward. Billy didn’t know if to be thankful or not.

Then there was the Team. Billy loved them. They were kids with powers, except Artemis and Robin. When Billy had been asked to be the temporary den-mother he was ecstatic. Meeting them in person had been a reality check. They were good kids, honest and just trying their best. But at the same time, they were teens and teens can sometimes be assholes. He doesn’t know if they meant to exclude him as they did but whenever he was with them he felt more of a bother then anything. They acted as if he was an annoying fly who didn’t go away. Words like 'childish' and 'stupid' were thrown his way, mostly from Artemis and Wally, and though the rest of the team reprimanded them for their words, they never really seemed to disagree with them. Billy understood that they felt that way, they had believed that Red Tornado betrayed them and a level of trust had been broken that he couldn't fix over night. He thought they all became closer after everything with the Failsafe failure but he guessed he was wrong.

A hand on his shoulder brought him from his thoughts. Q looked down, concern flickering in his eyes. He placed the plate of food in front of them and sat down in the booth across from him. Q placed his hands on the table. Vibrant green eyes bore into baby blues sternly. 

Finally Q spoke, quiet and a touch concerned, “What’s got you spacing out?”

“Nothing” Billy shook his head “Its nothing.”

Q raises an eyebrow (Billy wishes he could do that), “You aren’t one to doze off like that. You looked so lost and no one age should look that. Something or someone got you trapped your mind so I wanna know. Got someone I gotta knock around?” To emphasize the point he flexes his arms making his muscles bulge. 

Billy laughs. His smile soon melts off his face.

He takes a bite of the hashbrowns. He thinks for a minute then swallows.

“What do you do when people you trust hurt you by accident?” He asks.

Q thinks for a minute. “It’s up to if you want to forgive them. Intent is something to consider with this. You said they did it by accident? Then it depends on what they did. They should be saying sorry. Do they know they hurt?”

“No” Billy says through the lump in his throat.

“You can tell them, tell them how much it hurt you. Do you still trust them?”

“I don’t know” Billy answer truthfully. He knows in his head that the League was just taking precautions to a very difficult and delicate situation. They wanted to have all their cards in place before proceeding further and he understands that. He wants to tell himself that he’s being overdramatic and selfish. His heart thumps in protest. His heart screams of the frustration he’s felt, the unjust put upon him. For the first time he wants revenge. They dirtied what he held dear, showing that gave him purpose and others hope. They didn’t listen to him. They never listened to me he thinks bitterly. Nothing more than a child, they’d whisper, can’t do anything right, an incompetent idiot man child. He heard the whispers, heard the off comments, knew the rumors. Billy ignored them believing he’d prove himself to them then they would stop. He told himself this over and over again with the same expectations and the same burning feeling of disappointment in his heart and cold lingering feeling shame in his stomach. His heart begged for enough, that he should leave them. Enough is enough, it pleaded, we’ve had enough. His mind and heart have fought again and again, believing that only one way was right.

Go back or leave permanently, there was no in between.

A muffled gasp brought him back to earth. Q’s eyes were focused on the T.V. A linear of emotions passed through his face at once. Shock, disbelief, anger then finally disgust. Eyebrows pinched and nose flared, Q scoffed then turned to Billy and his eyes softened a bit.

“I’m so sorry Billy.”

Billy, confused, turns to the T.V. In that single moment, several things happen. He’s heart feels like it's freezing and beating rapidly against his chest, sinking into his stomach and rising into his throat. He feels like he’s both freezing and overheating. He wants to yell or sob at the same time but no sound escapes his throat. Bile rises in his throat and he rushes towards the bathroom. He thinks he hears Q shout after him but all he can hear is the reporter's voice repeating the same horrid line over and over again.

He lurches over the toilet seat and throws up the little food he managed to get into his stomach. Stomach acid also rises with it, burning his throat and mouth. He starts to dry heave when nothing else comes out, body convulsing painfully over the dirty toilet bowl. Billy flinches as large warm hands rub up and down his back. Words are being murmured in a familiar warm voice in his ear but he can’t hear anything. Billy knows he’s dissociationing. Everything, sound, taste, touch, feels so far away. But the single sentence kept coming back again and again.

Billy came back to himself partially to discover that he was in fact sobbing hysterically. He’s chest heaved rapidly as sobs and wails ripped through his throat. Tears and snot wet his face as he cried, cried, and cried. Q monverning Billy till he was pressed into his chest, large arms encompassing him protectively. Billy hands scramble to grip at Q’s shirt, wailing into his shirt and wetting it with his tears. The words are getting louder and louder, overbearing and heart wrenching.

‘ Captain Marvel accused of having sexual relations with an underage superheroine, expelled from the Justice League as manhunt goes underway for the runaway ex-hero.’

He knew it would hurt when he lost Captain Marvel but god he didn’t know it would hurt this much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild John Constantine has appeared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Widdlewed for making sure this didn't sound like trash (y'all go check her out on tumblr and on ao3 she's fucking great and I appreciate her a shit ton for putting up with little my dumbass)
> 
> +How in the hell did I get over 200 hits?

Constantine finds him 4 days after Captain Marvel’s falls from grace.

The reaction from the people is expected. They’re mad, enraged that a hero that had been so trusted and beloved had ‘done’ such a terrible act. The Mayor of Fawcett City held a speech the following morning and made it known and explicitly clear that Captain Marvel is no longer welcomed in Fawcett City and will be shot on site. Online people spit on his name, calling him names he doesn’t want to repeat. What stings most is the betrayal some people have expressed. Someone they looked to as a beacon of hope, someone greater than Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman, had been accused of such a horrific act, something many of them have gone through.

Billy stays in his apartment for the next few days, only coming out to walk over to Q’s and get food. Q has become cautious of him now, hovering over him like he’s some fragile pot that’s gonna break at the slightest touch. Billy feels ashamed at how annoyed he feels at Q and how many times he almost snapped at him before being able to bite his tongue. He decides to just avoid the diner and Q all together until he somehow overcomes this and isn’t acting like an asshole.

It’s almost sunset when someone knocks on his door.

Billy keeps silent, staring down the door, and waits.

A familiar gruff British voice huffs from the other side of the door. “Would ya open the door? I wanna have some words with you, you colossal idiot.”

Billy has never felt relieved, annoyed, and amused all in one instance before but John Constantine always seems to find a way. 

Opening the door, he’s met with a puff of smoke to the face, which is just great.

Billy coughs, waving his hand around to try and get the smoke out of his face. He glares up at John’s smug grin as John walks into his apartment like he owns the place. Billy follows him, knowing John could find a way to burn his apartment down if he pleased. 

John plops down onto his breaking couch. He raises an eyebrow at Billy and pats against the couch, signalling him to sit. Billy has half the mind to not sit, just annoy the man, but he decides to sit next to him anyway. 

They sit in silence for a moment and Billy takes the time to examine John.

They’d last seen each other back in June. Billy hadn’t been in a good mindset, just coming back from Superman once again berating him for making a mistake on a mission. The Flash had called into the Watchtower for help, which is considered uncommon within the Justice League. Reverse Flash and Bizzaro teamed up in some bizarre combination and had been laying waste to East Central City. The battle had raged for about 3 hours, leaving most of East Central City in rubble. Billy had been tasked with evacuating the civilians while Superman and the Flash battled their respective villains. He had believed that he evacuated everyone from the area. He was wrong.

He missed a young boy by the name of Jacob Lewis, age 6, and his older sister Lisa Lewis, age 14. And he almost paid for it. Billy had spotted the siblings just as Superman had tossed Bizarro unknowingly at the kids. His body moved before his mind can comprehend everything. In the next moment, he has two shaking kids in his arms, gripping his neck and arms in fright, hovering above the crater Bizarro made. 

When they got to the Watchtower, Superman ripped into him in front of everyone.

‘You jeopardized those children’s lives! Were you even thinking? You can’t make those types of mistakes, not if you’re a hero, not if you’re apart of the Justice League! You were reckless and careless today! You can never be distracted while on a mission - it can cost you and others their lives. You have to take this more seriously, Marvel. If not, can you call yourself a Hero if you can't protect people?.’

He continued for another 10 minutes in which Billy just stared blankly at him as he tried to hold back his tears. Shame burned at his throat and stomach. Superman unloaded so much that eventually Flash pulled his aside and told him to cool it. He didn’t miss Flash’s look of pity. He ignored it. He deserved it. 

Billy had rushed to his an apartment after that, letting the tears finally come fast and hot down his face. Apparently he hadn’t actually flown to his apartment but to John’s apartment in London. John yelped as 220 pounds of blubbering man crashed into him and tugged him into his chest. How Billy didn’t destroy his door he never knew. 

John had held him, albeit awkward, and was able to help bring himself to a more rational state of mind to transform back into his 12 year old self. Again Billy had wrapped himself around the 27 year old man, this time not crying but still hiccuping and sniffling. John just gave a long sigh and tugged Billy towards the couch and laid with him. Billy was arranged so that his body leaned against his. He fell asleep like that, drifting into a dreamless sleep, comforted by warmth and familiarity. He woke up at 12 pm the next day with a soggy bowl of cereal waiting for him with a note that said, ‘get better kid’ in barely legible writing.

Now, 4 months later, John looks more worn out then before. There are new wrinkles that line his face and Billy spots a few grey hairs in his dirty blond hair. He’s skin looks pale and it leaves worry bubbling in his chest. John looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders once more. Billy wants to help him with whatever burden he has. He owes that much to the man. 

He’d never said it aloud, but John is like a father to him. C.C will always be his father but with everyday the memories seem to fade and flicker. All he remembers is C.C's kind smile and him tossing Billy's tiny body into the air that one time. John is here though, physically (most of the time) and emotionally. He couldn't look to Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, or the Flash for fatherly guidance as they don't know his situation and they really didn't like him in the first place with the exception of the Flash. John is the closest thing he has to a father and he doesn't mind the thought it at all.

Suddenly there's a sharp burn at the back of his neck. Billy yelps, moving his hand instinctively to rub at the pain as he glares at John.

John meets his glare. “What in the hell were you thinking?”

“What are you on about?”

“Ya know what I'm talking about!”

“It's very fucking clear that I don't.”

John looks stunned for a moment. “Don't be using that sorta language with me, kid.Who taught ya that?”

“Take a wild guess buddy.”

“Ok, you know what? That's it you little-”

Billy shrieks with laughter as John lunges at him. John manages to get an arm around his neck, not enough to actually suffocate him but enough to immobilize him. Then there’s a hand on his head and John proceeds to give him the biggest nugie in his life. Billy protests loudly, kicking and pulling at John’s arms, all while still laughing. 

“Get. off. Of. me!” Billy grits out, punching at John’s arms with little effort.

John lets him go with a huff and they fall into comfortable silence once again.

John breaks the silence. “Why didn’t you do anything? Why would you sit back and let them do that?”

Billy shifts uncomfortably, “I couldn’t risk it. My identity-Captain Marvel was everything to me.”

“Well you lost Captain Marvel because you sat back on your arse and did nothin’ to stop it.” John says, looking Billy dead in his eye as he spoke, unimpressed and even looking a hint annoyed. “Who cares what those all mighty fucks say? You’re the same age as those kids and do just as good. If they had a problem, you shoulda told them to fuck off and left.”

“It wasn’t that simple,” Billy insisted though he sounds more like he’s whining in his own ears. 

“And why wasn’t it?”

He doesn’t know. It reality, it should have been that simple. They’ve berated and treated him horribly since he joined the Justice League with only some members respecting and even fewer actually liking him. He has sat in his room before, contemplating just up and leaving after a particular rough meeting or mission. When he couldn’t take the whispers or stares anymore. But he always stayed because he could do more good for Fawcett City and the world if he did, no matter his relationship with Justice League. He was a hero and he had an obligation to protect his people, no matter what. But now what? He can’t be Captain Marvel, can’t be a hero now because John was right. He saw what was happening and did absolutely nothing to stop it.

“See, right there!” Billy jumps at John’s suddenly exclamation. He’s grinning now, looking proud and smug,”The doubt and the second guessing. You know for a fact you done messed up. So what you gonna do about it? How you gonna show it up to the big man, the Justice League?”

You could teach me, Billy thinks and almost immediately disregards the idea.

Wait, wait, no...

That could actually work.

Billy grins. “You can teach me magic!” he chirps and John chokes on his spit.

“I could what?!” John yelps. He’s looking at him like he’s grown two heads but Billy just keeps grinning.

“You,” Billy taps his finger on John’s chest, “can teach me magic.”

“You’ve really lost it.” John brings his hands to cup his face and drags them down. “You’ve lost your head,” he says breathlessly.

Billy shoves him. “Stop, you’re being dramatic. ‘Sides, it’d be fun.”

John gives him an incredulous look, “Fun is going to a bar and getting piss drunk. Fun is going to a tropical island and not giving two fucks about the world. Fun is not worrying if you’re sending a kid to their death because they got a bit too cocky!”

Billy is stunned into silence and even John looks shocked at what came out of his mouth.

John gives a long sigh, tilting his head back and staying silent. Guilt churns in Billy’s stomach. He didn’t want John to worry about him. But he can’t be a bystander. He can’t just see something and not do anything. Not again, he promises, I’m not making the same mistake again.

Billy lays a hand on John’s knee. When he gets his attention he speaks.

“I’m not going to die,” he states firmly and gives a reassuring squeeze.“You’re gonna teach me how to survive. You can teach me how to survive. With or without you, I’m becoming a hero again and I want your help.”

John worries his lip and looks away.

“Please John.” Billy pleads. John sighs once more and sits up straight.

“Fine,” John grumbles, “fine, you twat, I’ll do it. But don’t go acting like a smartass with me, ya hear?”

Billy grins, “sir, yes sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much
> 
> You guys don't know how much this support means to me and I wanna thank you all for it
> 
> The third chapter is underway so I'd expect it possibly by next week but don't quote me on that
> 
> I'll see you all later


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batson and the Wizard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm going to explain I few things I just realized I left out:  
> A) This fic is based on that one time Captain Marvel/Billy was kicked from the JSA/JLA/JL (I'm not to sure which he was with at the time) due to them thinking he was in a relationship with an underage herione (Courtney Whitemore)
> 
> B) Billy was 'fired' on October 19th, The League's Statement came out on the 21st, Billy meets John on the 25th and this chapter is taking place on the 27th
> 
> and c) Billy is 12 in this fic but this fic will have him age up to at least 16 (from what I've planned so far)
> 
> Sorry for the confusion, hope you enjoy

Billy hits the ground hard.

He groans and he decides he’ll just lay on John’s hard, cold floor till he can feel his limbs and mouth again. John’s obnoxious laugh rings in his ears painfully and he considers getting up to shut him up but his exhaustion wins him over so he just stays there. 

“C’mon champ.” John grins from above and gives out his hand.”We ain’t done yet. C’mon get up.”

Billy’s body protests the action but he still grabs the hand and is lifted from the floor. They were in John’s dingy apartment in London. The couch and coffee table were pushed to the wall which left them a somewhat large area to work with.

“Aren’t we going to break some of your stuff if we did it in here?” Billy had questioned. John shrugged it off. 

“I got a boundary spell surrounding us so ain’t nothing gonna hit anything.”

“So why not go outside?”

“Because the sun is baking everything alive right now and I actually like my skin?”

Billy gave a huff of laughter but dropped the subject. Now he can barely feel his limbs. Everything feels slow and sluggish. This is the most drained he’s ever felt. He can practically feel his body plead for rest and Billy almost felt like just dropping to the floor and sleeping. He shook it off the exhaustion the best he could and focused. He couldn’t give up now.

“You’ve used magic before but it was never really was your magic to begin with. It was the wizard’s magic or the gods magic or whatever. They gave it to you so inherently it wasn’t yours.” John had explained,”You’ve never really used your very own source of magic before. For beginners, using the core of your magic is extremely tiring and draining so prepare for that. Then there’s all this other bloody elements that come into play like how potent is your magic core and your homomagi lineage. Unlike Harry Potter kid your blood lineage actually means a thing or two.”

John continued, for once looking serious about what he said.“Most homo-magi’s say a spell backwards to perform it. Can ya do it voiceless? I’ve only been able to do it when I got myself stuck in fucked situations but sure, you can. It’s extremely hard but there are wizards or warlocks or witches or what have you performing spells without speaking. It’s damn hard so I ain’t gonna recommend it”

Everytime Billy tried to perform a spell (“All you doin is tel sith elttob ylf or let this bottle fly. Simple levitation spell, ain’t nothin much to it”) with each time becoming more frustrated and more exhausted. He envisioned the water bottle hovering in the air a few feet above the ground. He went from detailed as possible to the most simply imagination. Nothing worked. He tried to push his magic towards the bottle, try to imagine the feeling of his magic reaching out and gripping the water bottle and lifting it. That didn’t work either.

Every since he’s given up Captain Marvel, he has been able to actual feel his magic core within him. It was a low hum at the back of his mind, undisturbed and content. Every now and again it would pulse and he’d feel a pull when it searched the area that he was in at that moment. When Billy’s angry, the hum overcomes most of his senses and it expands to all over his body. It feels chaotic at the same time liberating. He always has the hidden desire of just letting go when it's like this. To not hold back and let whatever happens happen. He quenches that want almost immediately when it rears its ugly head. That’s what separates him from the likes of Klarion; control.

A level of control he does not have over it yet. It scares him for the most part, not having control. He worries over what might happen if he doesn’t control it. People will get hurt. John will get hurt. The League would come after him, labelling him a threat then they’ll put him a cell. When Courtney finds out she’ll-

She won’t do anything, a part of him whispers, because she doesn’t know you and your a kid, she is a hero, she won’t do anything.

His heart calms at that and he shoves those thoughts to the back of his head.

John looks at him puzzled. “There’s somethin holding you back more than any beginner- and no, no” Billy’s face must have shown his annoyance, expecting to hear the whole ‘your past holds you back’ bullshit, “It ain’t got nothing to do with your past. It’s a block or something like that. Fighting against it is making you more tired, more exhausted, more frustrated.”

They both stay silent, thinking up reasons as to why he’s being held back. 

“I haven’t given up Captain Marvel” Billy whispers.  
John frowns. “I thought you were done being the Big Red Cheese.” 

Billy shakes his head. “To me I did,” he explains, everything clicking peacing together,”But not to the Wizard. Not to the Gods. I’m still on duty to them.”

John’s eyebrow furrow for a moment as he thinks. “You’re right, not officially. That’s what's blocking your damn magic core. When they gave you their magic it must’ve prevented you from being able to use your own core.”

Billy nodded.”Now I got a meeting with a wizard.”

 

“I will not.” The Wizard stated firmly for the fifth time, not moving an inch from the past hour, and Billy wanted to bang his head into the wall.

Billy withheld from groaning from frustration. “Why not?” 

“I specifically chose you to be Captain Marvel, to be my champion, for your heart. You have given up to early on yourself. You havent reached your full potential-”

“I wouldn’t have even if I tried,” Billy argued, “Your magic, the gods magic, whatever! It was yours, never mine! I wouldn’t have been able to use it fully even if I tried.”

“You would’ve learned-”

“Who? From you? Last time I checked you’re up here sitting on your ass doing nothing!”

His yell echoes in the cave. Guilt buries itself deep into his heart at his words. He had no right saying that and yelling at the Wizard. He helped make him into who he is now and all he’s doing is screaming like a child. He takes a breath, holds, then releases and does this a few more times till his heart stops pumping anger in his veins. 

Billy forces himself to look into the Wizards eyes, “I’m sorry,” he says truthfully,”I shouldn’t have said that, I had no right to say-”

He raises his hand. “Child, I see the fear and conviction in your heart and mind. You are scared of your future, which is now clouded and unclear. You feel guilt for you believe that you’ve dirtied and defiled the name of Captain Marvel for your lack of actions to prevent such a fate. You feel fury at those that you loved and admired demean who you are and your message. Hear me loud and clear Billy Batson, you have earned my respect and appreciation for all you’ve done. You have let your emotions out in a way you feel is disrespect while I have felt no disrespect. I can not hate you for being human.”

The Wizard’s eyes twinkle in the most compassion Billy has ever felt directed at him. It makes him squirm while at the same time fill him with warmth. He tries to say something else but the words lodge in his throat.

The Wizard speaks again before Billy can say anything,”Do you really wish to give up Captain Marvel?” He questions.

Billy finally finds his voice and speaks confident in every word he says.”For me it would be like passing the mantle on. I’ve done my part even if I trashed Captain Marvel’s image. There will be someone new who would improve the mantle better than I ever could. I’ve served my time and I’m ready to move on.”

Though Billy wasn’t certain, he swore he saw the Wizard smile with pride.

“Very well Billy Batson.”

The Wizard snapped his fingers and everything turned on its axis. It felt as if a heavy weight he hadn’t noticed was there was lifted from his shoulders. With that a new energy coursed through him. He knew it was his core, not the makeshift one the Wizard gave him. A sense of pride bloomed in him knowing that this was his and his alone.

There was a flash of white light and a portal came into existence a few feet away from him.

Looking back towards the Wizard, Billy gave a nod and a smile, then entered the portal with the Wizards parting words of “Goodbye Billy Batson” as everything dissolved into bright colors.

When Billy arrives in John’s apartment John is standing there, arms crossed, and a smug look on his face.

“So.”John grins, a teeth and mischief,”are you now ready?”

Billy smiles back,”Hell yeah.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so um... hi?

John takes them to a Boxing Ring in Downtown Fawcett City 3 days after Billy gave up Captain Marvel fully.

He hadn’t slept that night, doubts and fears plaguing him till the morning. He questioned if he made the right choice and contemplated going back to the wizard. But he thought of who he could be, how he could grow. Those thoughts eased his panic mind and by the time the sun rose into the sky all worries disappeared and an eagerness for the future spread through him. He was able to finally get some sleep

Only to be suddenly shaken awake by John, his body lurching back and forth violently. Billy lifted up the covers just enough to glare at the brit when he stopped.

“Up! Up!” John exclaimed “Get your lazy arse up we’re going out!”

That it takes us to now.

The sun was just begun to rise on the city, lighting up the trees and buildings. Billy squinted as the sun shined perfectly into his eye and an urge to just teleport (which he can do now) back into his bed burned in him quickly. Instead he just sighed and went along with whatever John had in mind.

Entering the Boxing Gym, it was a relatively small area with a large ring in the middle and punching bags to the side. John called out behind him,“Yo Naomi! You here?”

Billy shoved his elbow into John’s side in retribution for his comment. A woman's voice suddenly rings out “Coming, give me as sec”

From the side door comes a beautiful asian women, bubblegum pink hair tied in a loose bun. She’s a tall woman, 5’10 at least. She looks over to John and him, beaming and then moves her gaze to Billy. She freezes for a moment, eyes moving between Billy then to John then to Billy again, before a concerned look washes over her face.

Very slowly she says “John, did you steal a kid?”

John sputters “What- why the hell-”

“It’s something that you do”

“It is not-”

“Instead of stamps you collect strays but that’s ok too-”

“This is the first time”

“Yes the first time; not the last”

He throws his arms into the air “The first and only time!” John exclaims, sounding completely done with the situation and already regretting coming here.

In the most deadpan expression Billy’s ever seen, the women just says “Bullshit” in the most defiante tone that sends Billy into a fit of laughter.

John stalks over to women, hands moving rapidly as he tries to explain that this is the last time and no he isn’t hiding anymore at his apartment and once again John did not stuff Billy into a sack and take him from his home. With just listening to them interact Billy is sent into another fit of laughter.

His heart feels lighter than it has in years and, maybe, this whole thing will work after all.  
She introduces herself as Naomi Park, age 23, and a boxer and martial artist for 13 years.

When they shake hands, she feels different than he expected. Her hands are calloused and rough. She stands tall, confident and ready for a challenge. Billy wishes he had as much confident as she does and leaves a little hope in his heart that one day he’ll work himself up to that point one day.

“He has to learn how to fight”, John explains, “Casting people into hell and turning people’s arms into snakes is fun and all but sometimes knockin’ someone out is the best and most entertaining option.”

Billy gives him an incredulous look. He gets where John is coming from but its magic. He can practically do anything with magic! Batman and Robin can’t even fight all magic, no matter how well they do against it for the most part. Batman can’t take down Klarion and that’s enough reason for him. He holds himself back from saying anything.

Naomi seems to pick up on his inner monologue.”If I’m going to teach you, put my time and effort into teaching you a good skill, I need you to be in it as well. I’m going to teach you if you’re going to be half-assed about it.” She says bluntly

Billy flushes in embarrassment. “Understood Ma’am”

He ignores John when he begins to laugh

Naomi looks him over. “Your small- that’s good. It’s an advantage you can use, make your enemies underestimate you. But you’d still need to learn how to defend yourself since your height is still a weakness. I think Wing Chun would be the best for a defensive style of fighting”

“Wing Chun?”

“Wing Chun is a style of Kung Fu that originates from China,” Naomi explained, “It focuses on one thing and one thing one: defending yourself, especially from a violent assault and even more so from a position of disadvantage.”  
Billy nods. It sounds interesting, useful and a flutter of anticipation blooms in his chest.

“Muay Thai would be a good offensive style.” She adds “It’s harder, way harder. It’s complicated to learn but no one will mess with you if you learn it. It’s Thai Boxing, that’s the literal translation, it is widely recognized as the most effective striking art in the world.”

The flutter turns into a thump. Maybe he judged too early, Muay Thai and Wing Chun seem like a challenge for him, as a beginner, but he’s excited to learn.

“So what do you say kid?” John asks

Billy grins, “let’s do it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's been a while and to be completely honesty I lost inspiration for this fic, especially since I've gotten into Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and the Linked Universe fandom but I promise I'm back on it. I got regents coming up soon, like I have one on monday so imma be preoccupied. Thank you all for sticking with me even with the irregular updates
> 
> I know this is starting off slow but I promise, things are gonna pick up soon. Two more characters might be introduced soon and I can't wait to see your reactions
> 
> Again, Thank you so much and I'll see you next time!


	5. Author's note

I really didn't want to discontinue this piece. Sadly I've fallen almost completely out of the DC and Young Justice fandom and just western comics in general. As of right now, I don't have plans to continue this fic at all

Saying this now, after how many months all of you have been waiting for a new chapter, is shitty and I'm sorry. I know this sounds kinda half-assed but I'm geniunely sorry that I can't continute this for you guys.

I was so baffled about the support you all gave me and, still now, reading your comments makes my day. I hope you all continue to supprt me with other works I put out. 

Again, Thank you all and I hope to see you next time

**Author's Note:**

> This won't be weekly updates and I'm going to be honest with saying I might update once or twice a month but I will try must best to get the chapters out there
> 
> Thank you all for reading and i'll see you next time


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